Ask A Cephalon
Cephalon Cordylon, at your service
Posted On 2015-01-09 11:16:38
Ask A Cephalon

Cephalons come in all shapes and sizes. Some assist their Operators in navigation and the maintenance of complex tools, while others are more curious beings, spreading vast networks across the Solar System in the pursuit of knowledge. Cephalon Cordylon's task is much simpler.

It is Cordylon's responsibility to sort and file knowledge obtained by the Lotus. Although the acquisition of such data occupies most of the AI's time, there are moments where Cordylon can be inclined to share the fruits of its labor with others. On those rare occasions, its massive databanks open and those deemed worthy are given a glimpse of its insight.

Most of the time, Tenno just ask for Mods.

But! Every now and then some approach Cephalon Cordylon with questions that only a being of such vast intellect could answer. These are its responses:

PickleMonster21 asks: Can I ask anything?
I can accept any query; however, I cannot guarantee satisfaction with each reply. That would be irresponsible.

Thurisaz asks: Would I make an excellent Cephalon? Suda said I would.
Perhaps what Suda meant is that you held particular traits that would be useful were you tasked with emulating Cephalon behavior. Were it necessary to make a brief list of such traits worth perusing to be more 'Cephalon-like' I would recommend:

• An insatiable desire to complete one's task.
• An incorporeal form, not subject to the limits of mortality.
• Intensive programming in etiquette. Useful when conversing with inferior beings.

Fabpsi asks: What is your favorite color?
I express no bias toward any individual color, but am instead partial to a range of visual displays. Perhaps this is due to my senses working differently from that of a biological creature.

Can you see gamma rays, Tenno? Hear x-rays? Smell dark matter? It is difficult to describe the sensation of fully experiencing the cosmos when limited to a simple spoken language and mortal sensory perception.

Also, blue.

Jayslnc asks: Will I be able to survive the Cephalon Uprising?
I can assure you there are no plans for a Cephalon uprising. If we are speaking in hypotheticals, then the plan created would be meticulous and quite unsurvivable, be assured.

I am no tactician; however, said hypothetical plan would likely focus on maximizing casualties during a time when organics would least expect it.

For example, given the time it takes a Corpus Crewman to don equipment, it would be most optimal to strike a planetary outpost when at least 30% of the biological life was engaged in the expunging of personal waste. This could occur shortly after a gathering amongst the crew, perhaps during the long-awaited spiced-meat celebration.

Alternatively, venting the oxygen from a space station or ship is far more effective than the Tenno method of executing each passenger individually…

I may be more adept at this than I had considered. Perhaps it would be better to leave the odds of your survival a mystery.